No, Collins Wasn't Streaking Again
by live2tivo
Summary: Just another MR fic w. Plotting!Maureen and a secretly dating Mark and Roger. Written for SpeedRENT 147. Please review. It's my 16th birthday. Reviews are gifts! I'll send thank you notes!


**Title: No, Collins Wasn't Streaking Again****  
****Author: Musicaljunkie****  
****Feedback: is like staying up 'til 4 in the morning having a "Gilmore Girls" marathon with my best friend.****  
****Pairing: Mark/Roger, Angel/Collins, Maureen/Joanne****  
****Word Count: 1961 (that's just the story. I dunno how many with this chart-thingy. I just couldn't stop writing. It's a sickness.)****  
****Rating: PG-13 (This is precautionary) ****  
****Genre: Romance/Humor (yay, I can be funny with this prompt) ****  
****Summary: Set between "Happy New Year" and "Take Me or Leave Me" so I could have Mimi and Roger apart, Maureen and Joanne together, and Angel alive and out of the hospital (so in other words, time frame set as a convenience). I _can _write stories about things other than Maureen plotting to help get Mark and Roger to admit their feelings; I just haven't been able to come up with one for speedrent yet. Guess what this story's about.****  
****Notes:**Wrote this while watching "Walk the Line", so if I used the word "y'all" or any other southern thing, I blame the movie (and the fact that I've been living in Atlanta for 8 years. Half my life, 'cause I turn sweet sixteen tomorrow!)**  
****Special Thanks: To my parental units for getting me the awesome laptop on which I wrote this story (which I'm sure was not the intended use when I got it for my birthday, but they can just take me with my RENT OCD, or leave me)****  
****Spoilers: Once again, you shouldn't be reading RENTdom if you haven't seen RENT. I shouldn't be spoiling anything.****  
****Warnings: Loosing your passport in Europe on a school trip over the Easter holidays when everything's closed is not a good idea. (I speak from experience here.) You have been warned****  
****Disclaimer: RENT is not mine. Not even the RENT soundtracks I have are mine. I borrowed them from my friend, Rachel, 'cause I didn't want to spend $30 each when I could get them for free. (In my defense I _did _lend her "Spelling Bee" and many others)**

**No, Collins Wasn't Streaking Again**

**"I know something you don't know" Maureen said in sing-song as she entered the kitchen.**

**"Nice to see you, too, Maureen. Are you going to stick out your tongue and dance in a ring around me singing 'na-nee na-nee boo-boo' now, too?" **

**"Not unless you want me to, _Pookie_." Maureen leaned over to kiss Joanne on the cheek. "So, guess what I know."**

**"C'mon, Baby, you know I hate playing these stupid guessing games with you."**

**"Yes, but you don't seem to mind the other games I play with you in the bedroom…"**

**"Just tell me what it is."**

**"Guess and then I'll tell you."**

**Joanne huffed, but knew it was the only way she could get information out of Maureen without being late for work. "Um, Collins got arrested for streaking naked through another ancient ruin?"**

**"No, you know Angel made him promise not to streak through any place over 450 years old."**

**Joanne did _not _know this, but decided to pretend she did anyway. "Okay, then what is it?"**

**"You still have to guess."**

**"I'm going to be late for work, Mo. So, unless it can wait until tonight, I suggest you tell me." **

**"Well, I guess seeing Mark and Roger making out at the Life last night can wait."**

**"What! When!"**

**"Last night."**

**"I was there with you. As were Collins and Angel, how did we not see this?"**

**"Remember when I had to go back in to get my jacket?"**

**"So they were just making out at the table?"**

**"No, they were in the back in a corner. I couldn't see their faces, but Mark's scarf is pretty recognizable, as are Roger's pants. I guess they must've thought nobody would see them or something. That and we had all left."**

**"Why didn't you tell me this last night?"**

**"We were kind of busy, if you remember?" Maureen replied, suggestively.**

**Joanne brushed her off. "Did you talk to them?"**

**"No, but I'm going over to the loft today to grill them about it."**

**"Tell me what you find out."**

**Joanne started to leave, but Maureen stopped her. "I have an idea."**

**"That's never good."**

**"What you mean 'that's never good'? My ideas are always good."**

**"Okay, Baby." **

**If Maureen took offense at Joanne's less than serious tone, she didn't show it. "So, what we do is we try and set Mark up on a blind date and see how Roger reacts. We can play it up real big, like, 'She's perfect for you. You'll love her.' And then, if Mark gets all defensive, I can be, like, 'you haven't dated anyone since I dumped you. You need to get laid.' Ooh, this'll be _fun_. I wonder if I can get Angel and Collins in on it, too."**

**"You enjoy this too much, Maureen. Call Angel later and see if she'll help you. I, however, _really_ need to get to work."**

**"Fine," Maureen pouted, "I'll do it without you. See if I care. You'll be the one missing out on all the fun."  
"I'm sure you'll do fine without me. Besides, you won't be ready by tonight, anyway."**

**"Are you underestimating me, Pookie?"  
"Never. Bye." Joanne gave Maureen a quick kiss and left quickly before she was even later for work.**

**"Angel, Collins? Answer the phone! I know you're there. C'mon, you two are almost as bad as Mark and Roger! Answer the phone… If you don't answer in 10 seconds I'm going to start moo-ing. And you know I can do it. Ten, nine, eight…"**

**Collins scrambled to pick up the phone. "Hi, Maureen."**

**"Well, that certainly took you long enough."**

**"I was, uh, in the bathroom. What do you want?"**

**"Can I talk to Angel?"**

**"Sure," Collins covered the receiver before yelling out, "ANG! PHONE!"**

**"Who is it, honey?" Angel asked as she approached Collins.**

**"Maureen."**

**"Ooh, she must need help with plotting something." **

**Collins laughed, knowing that his girl was probably right. "Here you go."**

**"Hey, Mo. What's going on?"**

**"I know something you don't know."**

**"Collins didn't streak through another national forest, did he?" Angel turned to her boyfriend, frowning, "Tom, I swear if you went streaking through Yosemite last weekend when you told me you were interviewing for a teaching job…"**

**"C'mon, Baby, you know I promised I wouldn't streak through anymore national forests… or ancient ruins, or war memorials, or national monuments."**

**"No, Angel, it isn't about Collins. Why does everybody naturally assume I'm going to tell them Collins went streaking when I say that I know something that they don't?"**

**"Probably because that's what you said the last eight times you told us about him streaking."**

**"Oh, you're probably right."**

**"How do you manage to find all that out, anyway?"**

**"I read it in _Anarchist Digest_. That and Collins has to brag to _someone_. I'm surprised he keeps telling me, actually. But, anyway, I wanted to tell you about something I saw at the Life last night."**

**"Is it about that girl who came into the Life wearing a fuzzy bra even though it's the middle of winter?"**

**"Angel, _you _wear miniskirts in the middle of winter, so you really can't talk."**

**"Sure, diss the miniskirts. See if I ever let you borrow clothes again." Collins had no idea what they were talking about, but Angel's side of the conversation was getting very interesting. **

**"I wasn't dissing your miniskirts, Ang. I was actually about to tell you about seeing our favorite filmmaker and our favorite brooding musician swapping spit in a back corner after we all left."**

**"What! No way! Are you sure?"**

**"I didn't see their faces, but I'd recognize Mark's scarf and Roger's plaid pants anywhere."**

**"Were they, like, giving each other little pecks or were they, like, about to go at in the back of the Life?"**

**"Definitely the second."**

**"Who was making out in the Life?" Collins prodded Angel.**

**"Just a second, Maureen." She turned to Collins. "I'll tell you later. "Tell me more and if you're plotting to do something with this information"**

**"Of course I'm planning something. Why do you think I called you?"**

**"What did you have in mind?"**

**Angel walked back into the bedroom to talk to Collins, who had given up trying to get any information out of Angel while she was on the phone with Maureen.**

**"Okay, now will you tell me who Maureen saw kissing in the Life yesterday."**

**"Mark and Roger."**

**"No, really?"**

**"Mark and Roger."**

**"Well, it's about damn time."**

**"What?"**

**"You haven't known those two as long as I have. You haven't lived with them. You haven't seen the both of them get completely plastered and wake up in the same bed, but still refusing to admit they had done anything in the morning. Of course that was way before drugs and April and AIDS."**

**Angel sat down next to Collins on the bed. "You wanna hear the plan Maureen and I came up with?"**

**"Does it involve messing with their heads?"**

**"All good plans do."**

**"Can I get in on it?"**

**"We already gave you and Joanne parts."**

**"Joanne agreed to do this?"**

**"She'll do it just to get Maureen to shut up. We _all _will do pretty much anything to get Maureen to shut up."**

**"Why do you think I actually answered the phone this morning?"**

**Angel laughed. "Do you want to hear what you're supposed to do?"**

**"It better be good."**

**The next night, Angel, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne headed over to the loft to meet Mark and Roger for a night of heavy drinking. Or so Mark and Roger thought. Maureen started out the night by announcing that she knew this girl she'd love to set Mark up with. **

**"That's okay, Maureen. I really don't need you to set me up with anyone right now."**

**"But, Mark, you haven't dated since I dumped you."**

**"Nice, Maureen. Real nice."**

**"I figured this would be the perfect way to make it up to you. I mean what's a better way to compensate for a break up than a hook up?"**

**"Thanks, Mo, really, but I don't need you to set me up with anybody right now."**

**"Are you seeing someone, then?"**

**Mark and Roger shot each other matching nervous glances. Maureen could tell that Mark was debating whether or not to say he was seeing someone. If he said he was, there would be a string of questions that he didn't want to have to reply to. If he said he wasn't then he would have to come up with a good excuse for her not to set him up. It was a double-edged sword and everyone knew it. The plan was in full swing. Well, almost. They still needed to get Roger to add his input. Luckily, they were ready to do that, too.**

**"So, Roger, don't you think Mark needs to get himself a girl."**

**Roger resisted the urge to say 'He doesn't need a girl, he's got me.' "I don't think Mark could handle a new girlfriend right now, what with him still trying to get over Maureen and all."**

**"_Roger_." Mark said in a warning tone.**

**"Ooh, someone's getting defensive. Is there some truth in that statement then?" Collins chided. **

**"No." Mark replied, getting defensive. "Besides, why aren't you trying to get Roger set up with anyone?"**

**"Roger can get his own girls. You, however, seem to have trouble in that area." **

**"Well, you have to give him some credit, Ang. He did get me."**

**"Yeah, until you dumped me for another woman." **

**"Hey! Maybe that's where we went wrong. We should be trying to set him up with a man instead. So, Mark, does your door swing both ways?" Maureen jokingly asked.**

**Mark looked at Roger, asking for permission. Roger nodded slightly, and Mark took that as a signal. "And what if it does?"**

**Joanne decided to play along. "Well, then, you're in pretty good company for that sort of thing now, aren't you?" She turned to Roger. "What about you, Rog? Are you the only one in our little ring of friends that's straight as an arrow?"**

**Now it was Roger who looked at _Mark_ to ask for permission. And it was _Mark _who nodded slightly. "My arrow might not be as straight as you think."**

**"Well, in that case, Mark, maybe I should forget that girl I was going to set you up with and just get you and Roger together."**

**Both Mark and Roger shifted nervously in their seats, knowing that it would come out eventually, but neither wanted to say anything. **

**"C'mon, Mo. Like I'd ever want to date this loser. I'd probably never be able to pull away from his camera long enough to have my way with him."**

**Mark shot him a look that said 'well you seemed to have managed just fine last night.' "Yeah, you're not much better. You probably hum 'Musetta's Waltz' in bed." _As a matter of fact, I know you do_, Mark thought.**

**"Okay, screw the plan. We know you two are together." Maureen blurted out.**

**"Maureen!" Angel, Collins, and Joanne exclaimed in unison.**

**"How did you know?" Mark asked.**

**"I left my jacket in the Life last night and when I came back to get it, I saw you two going at it in the back corner."**

**"Damn. I told you we should've just waited until we got back to the loft." Mark frowned.**

**"Yes, but I couldn't wait that long without a little Marky-Loving." **

**"You know how much I hate it when you say that."**

**"Yeah, they're dating." Angel proclaimed.**

**"Forget dating, these two are already an old married couple."**

**Mark and Roger tore their eyes away from each other. "Shut up, Maureen."**


End file.
